50 Thoughts While Cycling 100km

Yesterday I took part in the Wairarapa Women's 100 which involved cycling 100km throughout the Wairarapa starting and finishing in beautiful Martinborough. 

It was 6am on a Sunday. I only wanted to quit 27 times. Then I got out of bed.

Below is a general idea of what was going through my head throughout this challenging ride.

1. Alright, here we go. 100k. Should be ok, looking forward to my bath afterwards.
2. Shit, forgot to start my Garmin.
3. Oops, need to learn to signal when stopping. People get quite wound up when they nearly crash into you. Sorry! I'm a newbie!
4. Hills already?! 
5. Probably should have grabbed a map. I hope Louise knows where we are going.
6. I hate downhill. How do people relax through this?! I might die!
7. Still alive. Although if every car passes at that speed I actually might die!
8. How far have we gone, must be at least 30km by now. 11km?! What the f**k?!
9. So many hills! My legs are shot. Lucky theres only... 85km to go...uuuuuuuggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!
10. I should definitely do a blog post about this to remind myself how much pain I can endure. 
11. I am amazing for doing this. 20km done. 20km?! This sucks!!!
12. Will be interesting to see how my legs cope with a run after this.
13. Need to learn how to balance and drink at the same time. Stopping to have a big skull of water is not efficient riding. 
14. My legs are a little numb. Screw running!
15. Back on the road...long, straight country roads. Thank god it's not windy!
16. Hey I know that house on Longbush Road!
17. Gladstone pub..wonder if anyone would notice if I just stopped here for a drink. Im sure mum would pick me up.
18. Fine, I'll keep going.
19. Wiiiiiiiiiind suuuuuuucks!
20. Need water so badly! I'll stop at 40km. 2 km to go. Wait, there is a yellow jacket ahead of me in the distance. I'll stop when I catch her. How the fuck have I only ridden 38km!!?
21. Wind is now tail wind, so close to the girl ahead of me. Tailwind is amazing. I'm so fast and awesome.
22. Yusss! Got her! And she looks to be in as much pain as me! My ass is so numb I think it's permanently bruised. Oh nice! 45km!
23. Drink and feed time, quick stretch and ready to catch the yellow jacket again.
24. Amazing how good sugar feels, it's like I'm high!
25. Weeeeeeeeeeeee!
26. I know what I'll write my blog about. 100 thoughts while riding 100km! I'm sure people would LOVE to know the crazy that is in my head.
27. It feels amazing when I lift slightly off my saddle in relieve the pressure on my lady bits. And sitting back down, not so fun. Ow.
28. 50 thoughts is probably a better blog. I think about a lot of rubbish.
29. Why do people attack on such small hills? Look how much faster I am than you in my saddle. Look at me go.
30. Do I have a flat tyre? Or maybe my brakes are locked on again. This is hard. Nope, just hard. Damnit.
31. Getting close to the end of this loop surely! I need more water. And a cuddle.
32. I reckon 66km is enough. I could go for a run after this while the others finish the loop. 
33. Running is a terrible idea! With legs this sore, that is the dumbest idea yet.
34. 66km done. It feels amazing to get off my bike! I don't think I can finish this. I reckon I'm done. I don't know where to go anyway. That's a good excuse.
35. Wait, Im back on my bike. How did this happen? Why am I still going? Ah screw it, 34km to go. I can do this. 
36. I probably should have filled up my water bottles. I have half a OSM bar left. That's gonna go down like dry Weetbix.
37. That is the biggest hill I have ever seen in my life! Who puts a giant hill this far into a 100km ride?! This is f**king insane!
38. That wasn't so bad. Oh that's gonna be a relief to ride back down!
39. Only 7km to go, then I'm half way around this loop and I can cruise home.
40. Hey Les Mills people! Heeeeeeey!!!
41. I am pretty good at this uphill thing. Pity I can't hold any pace on the flat!
42. Headwind. 14km/hr. On the flat. 
43. I think I have a leaf in my eye.
44. Last 12km. I've got this. Feeling a little hungry but I can boost home and eat all the food I want.
45. 10km. Why is my vision kinda black? Oh, I should eat. 
46. Yup, eating is important. How the f**k am I going to run a half marathon after cycling this sort of distance. 
47. Where is that big hill?! I need to give my poor vagina a break. Numb ass. Broken legs. Damaged vagina. Why do people do this for fun?
48. There's the hill! Relief! Weeeeeeeeeeee!!!
49. 100km done. How am I not even in Martinborough town yet?! Ooooh Palliser Estate. I'll just stay here.
50. Done. Feed me. Someone. Anyone? Iced chocolate. Heaven. Holy crap, I just rode 100km! That's awesome!

The course, my awesome shoes, the after photo. One of my eyes is half closed because I was so shattered. I also badly needed a shower.

Off to Taupo on Wednesday with Emma for a few days of hard training then running 10km in the Taupo Marathon series. Next update next week!

Confessions of an Athlete Mind

Forgive me readers, for I have sinned. It's been 2 months since my last blog post.

I honestly thought I'd be further along in my training than I am, and I definitely didn't think I'd hit a slump this big. I worried about a friend a few months ago when she wasn't driven in her training towards this huge goal we both have ahead of us. Now, it's me that's struggling for drive. Maybe it's the weather, maybe it's my disorganised nutrition, or maybe I'm still creating excuses and forgetting about my WHY.

So what's happened since May?

Long story short, my injury came back as a sprain. Simple injury, not so simple cause. Turns out my glutes don't really do their job. They sit in the right place and make my jeans look great but they don't contract and stabilise my legs like they are supposed to. When your foot strikes the ground in a walking or running motion, the muscles, tendons and ligaments in your legs all work together to stabilise the movement into a smooth forward moving motion. In my case, my glutes are lazy. This means the load from foot impact, which should be absorbed by the giant muscle in my butt, was predominantly being handled by the little ligaments in my ankle and the tendons of the teeny stabiliser muscles in my calves. Good one ass. 
What this also meant was 4 weeks of no high impact exercise and a LOT of glute exercises. No running. No BodyAttack. Just a whole lot of controlled body weight exercises to wake up my lazy ass. 

Thank god I still had RPM

Now my training consisted of rehab training, RPM, swimming and the odd outdoor ride. 
I got stuck into the swimming and am comfortably doing 1500m in the pool in around 50 mins. Not fast, but consistent. 
I got stuck into the cycling and tagged along with a women's cycling group Revolve, learned a lot about road cycling etiquette, how to battle hills (downhill is terrifying and uphill is bloody tough with the brakes locked on) and even braved clipping in...and falling off. Several times. 

Things were looking pretty good. New programme, new motivation, new successes. Now I've hit a wall. 
I've lost momentum.
I'm in a slump.


Don't get me wrong, I'm not quitting. I'm just lacking energy and drive and need to remember why I started. 
So here I am, laying it all out on the table. As amazing and fit as my Instagram account makes me seem, I have shit training weeks (on in this case, months) and even worse eating weeks. I still use excuses to justify my actions and it's not getting me anywhere. 

I started this blog to hold myself accountable and to remind myself of the struggles I go through to get to the start line of the IronMaori Half Iron man on the 5th December. It's to remind me that no matter how tough things get, I know I can achieve this goal. I just need to remember why I started.

Last confession. My real WHY.
I took on this BHAG because I knew it was something I would have to work for. Something I would have to push past excuses to achieve. I didn't enter into this to inspire others and be a success in other people's eyes. I entered into this to inspire MYSELF. To prove to myself that my excuses are my own, and therefore to be broken by only me. 

I did this to be a stronger ME. 
And if I can inspire others to be stronger along the way, then that's pretty freaken awesome too.

At the end of this month Emma and I are heading up to Taupo for an intensive training weekend and I'll be running the 10km in the Taupo Marathon series. 
My next post will be my plan on how to pull myself out of this slump to ensure I am ready for that week.